A rant by: SOLMoFo

My name is Ed. I am 82, and a squeegee kid. Although I am mostly retired, I spend the majority of my free time petitioning the government to give my fellow squeegee workmen full pensions and RRSP contributions, as well as paid vacations and allowances for expenses, such as "business lunches", with full compensation for paper bags and solvents. My hope is that with such a strong representation of us here in Winnipeg, we'll be able to found the Union of Squeegee Technicians and Solvent Connoisseurs (USTSC) here in this city which is world famous for providing some of the best-qualified representatives in the field. Many still don't respect the years of training and hard work required for full USTSC certification, such as turning down jobs, and education, and the incessant efforts of the government to get us "stable employment". While our field of expertise is not yet recognized, once we join with the Union of Aging Prostitutes and Crackwhores, which was also founded here, our mission to provide top-knotch standardised service, such as mandatory vomiting on the car, and a required minimum for slurred obscenities. We have already gotten funding to bring representatives into the schools to extoll our glorious lifestyle to all the children, and are awaiting more grants. Please support us by joining the cause, or making donations to our members. It's tax deductible.

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